Morning By Morning New Mercies I See...

This was the sunrise outside my front door, one beautiful fall morning.
Isn't God's creation magnificent?!

I had to be up very early twice this week to drive Brandon to school early. Both days the sun wasn't even up. On wednesday I grumbled leaving the house at 5:30, but this morning was different. Somehow things just seem different this morning. I have a lot of life changing things going on with my business and my quest for a part time job. For the last few weeks I feel like I've just been going through the motions. Walking around like a zombie with no direction, no ambition. Honestly, I think I'm just mentally exhausted, but I've seen God at work this week and it's given me a new perspective. Hope.

As I contemplated how I would spend my time with God this morning, a verse came to mind, "His mercies are new every morning!" I couldn't get that verse out of my head, I just kept thinking about it. So I looked up the passage to read more. Wow... it's found in Lamentations. I confess, that's not a book of the bible that I delve into often. I'm more prone to flip to the new testament pages, and especially the psalms when I'm looking for something encouraging... but today He gave me Lamentations. :) Here's the full verse, I think it's awesome!

"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions (mercies) never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." Lamentations 3:22

MM HMM! Because of the Lord's love we are NOT CONSUMED. His compassions never fail, they're new every morning and great is God's faithfulness! It's hard not to be consumed with our problems, isn't it? I'm tempted to let them consume me constantly, but that's not what God would have us do. Then I began to think of the song "Great is thy faithfulness" - so I found it on the net, listened to it, soaked it up.... and this part of the song struck me. "All I have needed, thy hand hath provided. Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me." Everything I've ever needed God has provided, He gives me everything I need, He is faithful - why should this trial be any different? He has proven himself faithful time and again! Yup, I will wait for Him. The faithful one whose mercies are new every morning. Praise Him!

As I read on in lamentations, I came to verse 55 and couldn't take my eyes off of it. This comes from "The Message" It says,

"I called out your name, O God, called from the bottom of the pit.You listened when I called out, 'Don't shut your ears! Get me out of here! Save me!' You came close when I called out. You said, 'It's going to be all right."

Now that's what I'm talkin' about! God says, it's gonna be all right. ALL RIGHT. I know I can believe that because trust me, I've been in the pits of despair and the Lord has always pulled me out. It might be hard for me, but nothing is too hard for Him. I've found myself in situations that I thought were impossible... but ALL things are possible with God. Great is his faithfulness, and his mercies are new each and every morning. What an awesome promise. It doesn't matter how bad the day before was, each morning is a fresh start and God says it's gonna be all right.
I love it!

Many are the plans in a man's heart...

But it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. (proverbs 19:21)

Yeah, we've had lots of plans - we want to finish our fenced in patio, pour a sidewalk from the house to the machine shed, plant some trees, redo our main bath - complete with a tub deep enough for soaking, replace the deteriorating shower in our master bath, get new carpet on the main floor, finish the basement and the most exciting of them all - for our vacation this year... take our kids for 2 "firsts": first time on an airplane and first seeing the ocean. Well... those were the plans WE had, but it doesn't look like these things will happen. I pray that the Lord does have a purpose in this. I'm reminding myself to be anxious for nothing... but I find myself feeling quite anxious. I woke up the other morning dizzy and nauseous and this doesn't happen very often, but when it does it seems I am nearly always stirred up about something big or a lot of little somethings.

We are the kind of family that has to work very hard for what we have and while we live a comfortable life and our NEEDS are always met, the finances are usually pretty tight. My husband's company announced recently that they would no longer be matching 401K. FOOEY. That kinda stinks because they already told him that nobody gets the bonuses or pay raises they were promised. With the economy as is, we are sincerely grateful that we have a source of income right now - many people have been laid off and are losing their homes and can't find work and have no idea how they will even provide for their family. It breaks my heart that times are so tough. I thought that after Christmas when my sales were so fantastic and I heard complaints all around about how sales were down. I guess I shouldn't have been so foolish to think that it wouldn't catch up with us too - lots of people are hurtin'.

For whatever reason (divine subliminal thoughts?) I got it in my mind this last week that I should begin looking for a part time job. I know, I am running my soap business... but it would seem that people are buying necessities more than "extras" right now so things have been pretty slow for me. My January sales were just sad and I actually felt concerned about how the dollars would stretch - but I made it ok and am praying that things begin looking up for February and the months to follow into the spring. I don't know... I just feel I need to be smart about this and I am capable of contributing to this family, so why not? So, I talked to honey man about it and of course he doesn't love the idea of me going out and looking for work, but realizes that it really would help our family. We've got a child getting ready to start college in the fall and wow... it's a bit overwhelming. I got online and found some job openings for part time office positions that I thought looked promising. All applications and resumes have been submitted, so now I guess I just wait for someone to decide they are impressed by my credentials and call me for an interview. It's been a seriously long time since I've applied for a job (about 5 years) so I had to update my resume. This presented a challenge because I couldn't remember specific dates. Geesh... some of these work experiences were a loooong time ago. But... I did get it done and got them sent off for all 5 potential positions.

The day after I made the decision to look for part time work it became clear to me why I felt the need to do this. Honey got a call saying that all employees in his company will be taking a 5% pay cut. WHAT?? pay CUT??? UGH!!! You cannot be serious. I guess for a couple of days I just felt numb about it like... "what can we do... they took away our retirement, now they're taking away $$" I think it's finally sinking in. We called and had our investment company quit taking $ out of our paycheck to put into 401K. It really kinda makes me sick, because one day we are going to need that, but we need it now to supplement what's been taken away. You just do what you gotta do, right? Surely the Lord has a fabulous plan and his purpose will prevail in the end! I trust that it will, because he has been proven faithful to our family time and again. Praise Him for that!!

Looking at the glass half full... they are cutting back travel expenses and my man will only travel away from home 1 week out of the next 4, I guess that's good. Ok, that maybe lightens the blow a little. ?? Trying to think positive here. :) Please pray for my potential job opportunities, and especially for my husband, that he wouldn't be angry and discouraged, and that our needs will continue to be met and that our eyes are wide open to what it is that we're supposed to be learning or gaining from this trial. Right now it just feels like a trial and not a blessing - but my prayer is that God will turn it into one in His time.

Heartsick

I seriously feel heartsick today. There are so many things about this world that I don't understand, but this topic is the mother of all "I don't get it" 's. *sigh* I'll warn you... this is going to be a passionate post, so if you don't wanna hear it... that's up to you. I know it's controversial, but I'm goin' there. I have to.

I was in the kitchen this morning putting together some cupcakes and doggie birthday cake for my precious Shoogie's birthday party. She's 1 year old today!! :) Anyway, more on that later. Luke was in the bedroom getting dressed and watching FOX News as he does every morning, he yells down the hall..."Hey, Jami...guess what Obama's doin' today?" I'm thinking that I would have no idea, so I yell back, "what?". He informed me that a bill was being signed to overturn the bill that President Bush put in motion when he was president. Ya know, the one about the government funding abortions. UGH!!!! Are you serious? Our nation is in a financial crisis and we are going to give money (I believe the dollar amount was 3 billion) to people to "take care" of their "mistakes"?!! You have got to be kidding me. Obama supporters can argue all day long that he isn't big on abortion, but if this doesn't prove it, I don't know what does! He actually voted once for and twice didn't vote against - allowing partial birth abortion - in which babies that are still breathing and crying are left to die in a cold empty room - alone! I don't understand how anyone can saythat is OK. When pro-choicers are confronted with the subject of whether or not it is ok to take human life (aka abortion) many will argue that "you can't ban it because then people will just get abortions illegally, and what if the woman was raped?" Well... my response to that is... less than 1% of women that have abortions have been raped, statistics show that generally... the majority of women that are having abortions are doing it as a form of birth control as many of them have had multiple abortions.

Now here's where I start to get all sorts of wound up: Human rights vs. Animal rights.


I actually went online and looked up the animal rights laws for the great state of Kansas. Here's what I found (http://www.bullwrinkle.com/Assets/animallaws/kansaslaw.htm)

Kansas Anti-Cruelty Statutes
KANSAS STATUTES CHAPTER 21. CRIMES AND PUNISHMENTS
KANSAS CRIMINAL CODE (ARTICLES 31 TO 47)
PART II. PROHIBITED CONDUCT
ARTICLE 43. CRIMES AGAINST THE PUBLIC MORALS


21-4310. Cruelty to animals.
(a) Cruelty to animals is:

(1) Intentionally killing, injuring, maiming, torturing or mutilating any animal;


(2) abandoning or leaving any animal in any place without making provisions for its proper care;


(3) having physical custody of any animal and failing to provide such food, potable water, protection from the elements, opportunity for exercise and other care as is needed for the health or well-being of such kind of animal; or


(4) intentionally using a wire, pole, stick, rope or any other object to cause an equine to lose its balance or fall, for the purpose of sport or entertainment.


So let me get this straight... intentionally killing, injuring, maiming, torturing or mutilating any animal or abandoning or leaving any animal in any place without making provisions for its proper care isn't ok, but doing this to an unborn child is ok? Now I ask you, what is wrong with this world? A cat is protected, but human life is not. Anyone who knows me at all knows that I'm an animal lover, I practically kiss Shoogie and the cats until I get a hairball, so don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that there shouldn't be animal cruelty laws, but what I get so sick about is that first part of the animal cruelty law where it says that it's against the law to, "intentionally kill, injure, maim, torture or mutilate an animal... and then our president wants to give our tax dollars to women so that they can do the same thing to unborn babies. I've seen abortion videos, there's no doubt about it... it is all those things! SICK SICK SICK. It makes me feel like vomiting. Furthermore, if someone kills a pregnant woman, it is double manslaughter. I find it interesting how the "fetus" suddenly then becomes a "baby". But if the Momma wants to kill it herself by having an abortion - NO PROBLEM! It's her choice afterall. I feel so helpless that nothing can be done to change this. The one thing I CAN do is pray - so I will.


Well, this is what is on my mind and on my heart today. Thanks for listening. :)





Precious





Far more precious!

Meet Loydi

Loyiso ("Loydi") is the precious 4 year old South African boy that we sponsor. We are so excited about him!! It was such a joy to receive our sponsorship packet in the mail and open it up to see this sweet face. :) Isn't he a cutie? He is from the Xhosa tribe and we are told that he comes from a family with 5 brothers and sisters and a momma. His family lives in the Motherwell area, an impoverished township with over 600,000 people. The unemployment rate there is over 75% and the typical home is small, with no indoor bathroom and unreliable electricity. I guess in a way, you could say that Loydi is "lucky" to have a mother, as over 1.2 million children are orphaned by aids. The statistics are so sad, South Africa is home to 5.4 million people living with HIV. There is a harsh stigma associated with this disease which makes life really hard for these children... so many of them have seen their parents die. On a happier note - Loydi loves chocolate and likes to play netball. :)


For only a dollar a day, this little guy gets food, clothing, medical care - and when he's old enough... it will help pay for him to go to school. Isn't that amazing and humbling? ONE DOLLAR/day. Makes me realize just how spoiled Americans are. Please pray for Loydi and his family. We are truly blessed by the ability to help them out in this simple way. If you would like to know more about how you can help a child, visit http://www.onelifechild.org/

What makes this so real to us is that our dear friends Dan and Kristi are missionaries there. What an honor it is to be able to call them friend. They are amazing, Godly servants. I can't even imagine living the life they live, but the best way I can say it is they are the hands and feet of Christ, they sincerely love these people. The stories that Kristi tells on her blog will touch you in such a way that you will be humbled and compelled to do something, anything to help. This week she told the story of a woman dying of aids (click link to go read it) that she ministered to. Everyone that knows me knows that I'm a somewhat emotional person, but this story really got me. I mean REALLY got me. I've known Kristi for many years and I've got to say that I am blown away by her ability to do what she does. It is truly amazing how God has transformed Kristi for HIS purpose. I'm talking about a girl that didn't like to go outside because she might get dirty or there might be bugs. Only the Lord can take a person such as this and make her passionate about living in a place where you check your bedding every night for insects. I remember when they first moved to S.A. - a little more than a year and a half ago and someone Kristi knew would die, or someone she knew had a child that died and her heart would be broken into a thousand pieces. She is certainly a mercy giver. I think she posted a while back that she had lost count how many she knew that are gone now and it was more than 25. That would be so hard, but most recently a man she knew whose health was actually improving had found out that he had cancer and then the worst - he passed away. My friend actually worried that maybe something was wrong with her because she accepted it and wasn't in a shambles over it. I shared with her that God was no doubt helping her to deal with death differently now, because it's a real part of the work that she does - she is useful in her ministry to these people and you must be strong to do a "job" like this. They also start up soup kitchens in the area and it's pretty neat - she has lots of info and photos on her blog about that too and I think you'll find it really interesting.

Well... I just wanted to share a little bit about Loydi and our friends and what is going on in that part of the world. I hope you'll click on one of the links above and take a look at Kristi's blog. I know you'll be blessed if you do. Please pray for Dan and Kristi... for safety and protection and the strength to do what they've been called to do there.

PEACE!
Jami

Everyone's Friend?

Recently I was saddened when I came to the realization that there's a person in my life that I will never win over. They will never be my friend in the true sense of the word. This person, for whatever reason, just doesn't want much to do with me. I keep asking myself what I've ever said or done to have earned such disdain by this person... and I can't for the life of me think of anything that would make this person have such ugly feelings about me. I go out of my way to be friendly and kind... but it just doesn't seem to make a difference. Even when they are the nastiest, I repay it it with kindness and a smile to try to turn the situation around. The people that really know me, and know my heart understand that I am a tender person, thin-skinned even. It just doesn't take a whole lot to hurt my feelings, I am easily wounded. Now before you get all paranoid... just know that it's probably NOT YOU!! :)I'm not sure this person would even want to read my blog. So anyhoo... as I came to this realization, lots of old buried feelings resurfaced.


When I was in gradeschool I wanted to be everyone's friend. If I thought for a second that someone didn't like me it would send me into a tizzy. This was particularly tricky because as luck would have it... my mom gave me my haircuts until I was in upper grade school and into jr. high. I remember being told by the old ignorant woman at the historical society fashion show that "the boys restroom is that way." Yes... I looked like a boy. My hair was very short, I wore glasses, had crossed teeth that stuck out in the front and to make matters worse... was tall, skinny and dorky. Kids are cruel and the ones at my school were no exception. Ever see the movie "Mean Girls"? I'm not sure exactly how many days out of the week I returned home from school in tears because of the kids that made fun of me. Me and my hair and my glasses and my ugly clothes. The girls in my class all wore designer jeans from the department store and mine were purchased on sale from Alco or K-mart and usually had some kind of ugly alligator emblem or other hideous thing on the pocket. It seems so insignificant now, but then it meant everything. Mom would say, "you're beautiful, if they can't see that then that's their problem." That was easy for her to say, she wasn't the one that endured verbal lashinsg on a daily basis. One girl actually (amongst a group of giggling mean girls) actually had the nerve to ask me why I wore such ugly clothes. I can still recall the hot tears that followed that question and I still remember the names of those girls like it was yesterday. Seems like after episodes like the one I just described, too numerous to mention, I would have eventually quit trying to be liked by everyone, but I never stopped.

I carried my wounded pride and hurt feelings around with me for a long time. I felt paranoid all the time that someone was sizing me up and judging my appearance and that as usual... I fell short of their ideal. Why that was so important to me, I'm not sure. Thankfully my physical appearance improved drastically in Junior High when I was able to grow my hair long and get contact lenses. In high school I got braces, and a job so I could buy "cool clothes" and actually wound up being moderately popular. Still... I sought the approval of everyone around me... friends, family, people that I barely knew or had just met. Because I was such a people pleaser, I got hurt a lot. It seems I was always disappointing someone or letting someone down. I tried and tried... but somehow it was never enough.

It wasn't until I was in my late 20's that I learned I didn't have to be liked by everyone and that I didn't have to try to win everyone over as a friend. I read a bible verse that went somethin' like this, "Do I now live to please man or God, for if I live to please man, I am not a bondservant of Christ." Whoa! I only have to please God? REVELATION!! I was very freed by this verse and enjoyed the new life I discovered once I quit trying to please everyone and allowing myself to be guilted into things in an effort to gain someone's approval. Afterall... in an effort to please these people, I made myself miserable.

I still catch myself playing the "approval game" sometimes, ya know the one I've been describing where I try to turn everyone into my friend? The simple truth is that there is always going to be someone that doesn't like you for whatever reason, and that you should seek to please God first and if you please others in the process that's just a bonus. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not suggesting that people be self-centered and ignorant, but I'm just saying that we don't HAVE to be EVERYONE's friend. In the process I also learned that "Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (1 Sam 16:7)That verse means a lot to me, because I'm just so thankful that God looks at my heart and knows my heart. His love is unconditional and doesn't depend on what kind of clothes I wear or how my hair looks. I have God's approval! (because I am His, he looks at me through "Jesus colored glasses") He is my friend!! "I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you." (John 15:15-16)

So when someone is not my friend... it's ok. God knows my heart and he CHOSE to be my friend. Guess I just needed the reminder.

Me...today

Still

Hide me now
Under Your wings
Cover me
Within Your mighty hand

CHORUS
When the oceans rise
And thunders roar
I will soar with You
Above the storm
Father You are King
Over the flood
I will be still and know
You are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust