The same dream...

Lately I haven't been dreaming all that much at night, but last night I did, and had the same familiar dream that I've been having off and on for the last umpteen years. It's the kind of dream that leaves you feeling confused. I'm not sure how many times this same dream has frequented my sleep... but each time, I wake up wondering why I am dreaming this and why I keep dreaming it again and again.

I graduated in 1988, so.... yeah, it's been a looooong time since I've been a high school student. I loved high school, those were some of the best years of my life, but I've got to admit, I'm really glad that I've graduated and moved on in life. Yet... I keep having this same dream over and over. In the dream, I'm in high school and I'm wandering the halls looking for my class, only I don't know where to go because I don't have a class schedule. I don't know if this is the first day of school, the first day of a new semester... I have no idea, but I keep going into different class rooms and hoping that that's where I'm supposed to be, only to find out that I'm in the wrong class, or that I've missed the class several times and am very behind in my work or don't have the books I need, etc. So I somehow find the office, many times asking other students for directions - then ask the secretary for another copy of my class schedule - but to my dismay, I have no idea where the clasrooms are. If this weren't frustrating enough... sometimes in the dream I can't find my locker.

Either I don't know what my locker number is, or I know the number, but am just roaming the halls over and over looking for it and can't find it, or I finally find my locker, but then I struggle with the combination or I've forgotten the numbers so I can't get into it and the bell rings and I'm gonna be late for class. I've also dreamed that I didn't know we were having a test and I show up unprepared because I haven't studied. In my dream... I'm frantic, when I wake up... I'm exhausted and confused.

I can't imagine why I would have this dream over and over. It's probably been more than a year since I've had "the high school dream" - but I think it has to mean SOMETHING. All I can figure out is that maybe I'm confused about the direction my life is going, for real... or... ??? I just don't know. I did a search on this subject and it turns out that many others have had this same type of dream. One website said that dreaming about not being able to find your class represents lack of guidance in your life. It said that dreaming about not being prepared for tests represents the stress and pressure in your life. Hmm.... Not sure if the person that gave this insight knows what they're talking about or not, but I guess I can kinda buy into that.

Coincidentally, I am seeking God's guidance on some important matters right now, and I have found myself feeling a bit stressed and anxious at times, - but I'm not fearful or frantic. I know that God has a plan for my life and he will reveal that to me in HIS time. I trust him completely, he has proven himself faithful time and again. I do find it interesting that yesterday the pastor preached on "a new direction". "Forgetting what's behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal." (Phil. 3:13-14) I think that is so fitting for what I'm going through now. I can't say much more about it right now, but promise I will share more just as soon as I can.

Funny how God speaks to us through the word and other people, maybe even through dreams. Maybe the high school dream was a reminder that I don't have to KNOW the schedule, it's ok to search and seek. (I already know that God knows the plans he has for me, to prosper and not to harm me, to give me hope and a future. Jer. 29:11) Then today I read something in psalms that really spoke to my heart and encouraged me, "May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. We will shout for joy when you are victorious, and will lift up our banners in the name of our God." (Psalm 20:4-5)

I am seeking God's direction and asking him to give me the desire of my heart, trusting that it is the plan he has for me as well. When this time has passed... I truly believe that I'll be lifting up banners in the name of God and giving him all the glory for what he has accomplished, shouting for joy at what my God has done. :)

Morning By Morning New Mercies I See...

This was the sunrise outside my front door, one beautiful fall morning.
Isn't God's creation magnificent?!

I had to be up very early twice this week to drive Brandon to school early. Both days the sun wasn't even up. On wednesday I grumbled leaving the house at 5:30, but this morning was different. Somehow things just seem different this morning. I have a lot of life changing things going on with my business and my quest for a part time job. For the last few weeks I feel like I've just been going through the motions. Walking around like a zombie with no direction, no ambition. Honestly, I think I'm just mentally exhausted, but I've seen God at work this week and it's given me a new perspective. Hope.

As I contemplated how I would spend my time with God this morning, a verse came to mind, "His mercies are new every morning!" I couldn't get that verse out of my head, I just kept thinking about it. So I looked up the passage to read more. Wow... it's found in Lamentations. I confess, that's not a book of the bible that I delve into often. I'm more prone to flip to the new testament pages, and especially the psalms when I'm looking for something encouraging... but today He gave me Lamentations. :) Here's the full verse, I think it's awesome!

"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions (mercies) never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." Lamentations 3:22

MM HMM! Because of the Lord's love we are NOT CONSUMED. His compassions never fail, they're new every morning and great is God's faithfulness! It's hard not to be consumed with our problems, isn't it? I'm tempted to let them consume me constantly, but that's not what God would have us do. Then I began to think of the song "Great is thy faithfulness" - so I found it on the net, listened to it, soaked it up.... and this part of the song struck me. "All I have needed, thy hand hath provided. Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me." Everything I've ever needed God has provided, He gives me everything I need, He is faithful - why should this trial be any different? He has proven himself faithful time and again! Yup, I will wait for Him. The faithful one whose mercies are new every morning. Praise Him!

As I read on in lamentations, I came to verse 55 and couldn't take my eyes off of it. This comes from "The Message" It says,

"I called out your name, O God, called from the bottom of the pit.You listened when I called out, 'Don't shut your ears! Get me out of here! Save me!' You came close when I called out. You said, 'It's going to be all right."

Now that's what I'm talkin' about! God says, it's gonna be all right. ALL RIGHT. I know I can believe that because trust me, I've been in the pits of despair and the Lord has always pulled me out. It might be hard for me, but nothing is too hard for Him. I've found myself in situations that I thought were impossible... but ALL things are possible with God. Great is his faithfulness, and his mercies are new each and every morning. What an awesome promise. It doesn't matter how bad the day before was, each morning is a fresh start and God says it's gonna be all right.
I love it!

The Promise of Spring

I've had the winter blahs lately and quite honestly I've felt a little bummed out. My spirits were lifted, however, when I went out to get the mail and noticed the field across the chalk road greening up and my lilac bushes budding!! YAY... new life, the promise of Spring. I love it and can't wait for it! I always marvel at how God gives us seasons to enjoy as well as the beauty of his creation. Whether it be the gorgeous Rocky Mountains of Colorado or the stunning sunsets in the prairie lands of Kansas... it is His handiwork and I have a true appreciation for it all! I know I'll feel better when I can get out and soak up the sun and take in the fresh air rather than feeling cooped up and sitting under a blanket to keep warm. I am hopeful!

I have this verse on my fridge as a reminder and thought I'd share it with you in case you've got the winter blahs (or blues) too! :)

"Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God - soon I'll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He's my God." (Psalm 42:11 - The Message)

Are you suffering? Pray. Are you happy? Sing Praises!

James 5:13. I just finished reading the book of James. I think it's fantastic! I love the words of wisdom found within those pages... for a book with only 5 chapters it is jam packed with great advice and challenges. Here's a few nuggets I got from James:

"Don't grumble about eachother", "The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.", "Remember, it is a sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.", "God opposes the proud but favors the humble", "If you are wise and understand God's ways, prove it by living an honorable life", "you say you have faith, for you believe that there is one God. Good for you! Even the demons believe this", Love your neighbor as yourself. But if you favor some people over others, you are committing a sin", He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession", "when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy".

Yeah, so I've really been touched today by 5:13 - "Are you suffering? Pray. Are you happy? Sing Praises! It's easy to pray when we suffer, but do we sing praises when we are happy? I think too often we forget about God when things are going good. I sing all the time. I sing in the shower, in the car, in the soap shop, in the kitchen. I love to sing! But I want to sing God's praises!! He is so worthy. God has been faithful in my life and I will endeavor to sing his praises at least as much as I ask for help... or maybe more! :)

About prayer... so my friend Kristi (South African Missionary and fellow manic ) told me about how she has a prayer book. She writes down all the people that she's promised to pray for so she won't forget. Isn't that a great idea? I've been guilty in the past of saying I'd pray, but then after a few days or a week... I guess I just kinda forget about it. I know... SORRY!!! But I don't do that anymore. I was really convicted about my faithfulness and committment to pray for those I love, so I began this process about a couple of months ago and it works really well for me. I have so many on my list though, that I had to divide them equally and go every other day. M,W,F and T,T,S. It is actually quite effective and I feel good about not forgetting anyone. The biggest joy is when I can go in and write that a prayer has been answered. Opportunity to SING HIS PRAISE! :)

A while back... as I contemplated my friendship with Kristi, I had come to the conclusion that God had absolutely put us together as friends so that we would pray for one another. I truly believe that. Kristi is the type of person that will pray for you if she says she will. It's important to have a friend like that, praying for each other is incredible. Right about the time I had the revelation about us being "praying friends" a box came in the mail from Kristi, all the way from South Africa... and here's what it was:

It's an African Prayer Doll. The note said that I should put it in my home and whenever I dust around it or move it, I should pray for her and her husband, Dan. Isn't that cool? It's been quite a conversation piece. As luck would have it and as you can see, it has a very narrow base. Guess what that means? It falls over a lot. Falling over a lot means that I have to set it back up a lot, which means that I pray for Kristi a lot!! :) Kinda neat how that all works out. Here's how my prayer doll looked this morning as I had my morning devotion:

Yup, I "lifted her up" in prayer today. Actually their mission there is really awesome and they are feeding lots of hungry kids. It's pretty exciting. She posted today about the "Soup Clubs" they have going on where kids can get fed 6 days a week. They also have a child sponsorship program where you can sponsor a child that Dan and Kristi may even know. Our family has been talking about this for a long time, and this Christmas we are going to sponsor a child. It feels so good to give, and it's amazing how much you are giving with only $25 or $30 a month. It puts these kids through school and feeds them and gets them clothing. It's quite humbling actually. Maybe you feel the nudge to be part of this fantastic mission. If so... check out Kristi's page. She can getchya hooked up. Plus she has a lot of cool pictures on her blog.

Well, that's it for now. PEACE OUT! :)

I mean no disrespect Mr. President...

but I felt inclined to post a picture that expressed how I'm feeling this morning (minus a couple of horns)



I felt anxious as I switched on Fox News and saw that Obama had been declared President. Sick actually. But my vote was cast and the voices that are the loudest (those of the large, liberal eastern states) were heard and so I hope that President Obama is everything these people wish for him to be. Now his wife can FINALLY "be proud to be an American" for the first time ever. (note hint of sarcasm - and yes, she actually said that, and I quote, “for the first time in my adult lifetime I am really proud of my country. And not just because Barack has done well, but because I think people are hungry for change.” Michelle Obama) *sigh*

I, for one, will be seeking God's face on the matter and begging him to intercede on behalf of this great nation. It's totally in his hands.

"Ahh Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm... NOTHING is too hard for you." (Jeremiah 32:17)

"The Weary"

You've probably heard the expression, "No rest for the weary." I'm weary today... my kids are home from school sick with nasty colds, my husband is in Pennsylvania for the week... my house is a mess... I'm behind in my work... I need to make the second of 3 trips to town this week in my gas guzzling SUV - I'm weary. I could use a little renewal and strength, not sure how it's gonna happen except by the grace of God ~ so I'm grateful that I always have a place to go for encouragement. He is so faithful!


"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30


"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah 40:29-31


THANK YOU LORD!!

"Beautiful to God"

This was the name of my bible study lesson this morning. I had an interesting time chewing on this one. The author gives this verse before the study even begins:
"He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not." Isaiah 53:2-3 NIV

I find it interesting that scripture says Jesus wasn't beautiful in the eyes of man so that people would be drawn to him only by his spirit, not his physical beauty. I am so humbled by that. I want for people to be able to say, "wow she is a beautiful person" not because of what they see when they look at me, but because of the KIND of person I am. I want others to see a beautiful heart. The world is such a cruel place soemtimes, so much importance is placed on physical beauty but the bible says "Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7) Thanks for that God!! In a world full of skinny, large chested, blonde haired girls with orange tans - God says that I'm beautiful because he looks at my heart, not my physical appearance. Really what he thinks of me is all that matters when you get down to it - so that takes a load off. I think trying to look your best is alright, but obsessing about your looks or your size just to impress others is pointless. I sometimes wonder why people are surprised that we have so many young women with eating disorders - when such an emphasis is placed on looking like celebrities or super models.

I get annoyed (down right indignant, actually) when I hear people put down others because of their size or their color. It may be hard to believe, but I actually know people that do this. Love a person for who they ARE, not what they LOOK LIKE. To make reference to a black person in a negative way (as if they can help what color their skin was when they were born!) It's just sick and wrong. I wanna scream to that person, "what makes you superior!!??" Surely not their "white" skin. I guess I would have to say that God is color blind. He just doesn't care if we are green, white, black red or fuschia. We are made perfect in Christ and he will love us regardless of all the imperfections that the world is so ready to list about us.

Anyway... I get really fired up about the subject of discrimination and racism - but whenever I have the opportunity I share my 2 cents with the people I feel I can share it with, as for the others... I pray that I would actually muster up the courage one day to stand up to them and open up their eyes to the truth, and the truth is this: God loves us exactly the way we are. We don't have to change our hair, bleach our skin, get rid of our glasses, lose 50 pounds or even try to zap our zits, he loves us "as is." Afterall... he made us and "God doesn't make junk". He says that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made." He would know, he's the one responsible!

I'm thankful for this study today, because it's always good to be reminded that our worth should not be measured by the world, but by God. Afterall, he's not looking at my clothing size or what brand of shirt I'm wearing... he's looking at my heart. I can't begin to understand God's unconditional love, but I'm so thankful for it!! The author finished the study with this statement: "I pray when we look in the mirror, we will learn to see what God sees and love who He loves."

Indeed! :) I just want you to know... YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!