Full plate... isn't God great?

Ok, so it's 5:19 and I've been awake for about half an hour already. I woke up after having yet another bizarro dream. (this time someone had put their car in the ditch right outside my front door... I saw a guy approaching our home for help but I could see he was afraid of our dog - so I greeted him and immediately realized that there was something unusual about him. About that time - a small glowing open top bus appears in the wheat field across the road, people climb on and it vanishes into thin air.) I was glad to wake up to a shifting puppy so that I didn't have to be beamed up with this guy to some unknown dimension of the universe. ha ha. Please don't judge... I can't help that I dream this ridiculous stuff!! ;) This happens when I am exhausted. UGH... I really hate it. It's like my brain just won't stop.

Luke is, of course, out of town... so I'm lyin' in bed with my little fuzzy baby, Shoogs - and just thinkin' about all the things I need to do, how this will work out, how that will work out... wondering if it will rain Friday so that we can't set up for the reception early, etc. Then come the songs... I'm singing the songs in my head that I've heard the kids practicing for the last several weeks and that they performed last weekend at their dinner show. *sigh* Goodness, I wish I could be still. So then out of nowhere the song shifts, "I love you Lord, and I lift my voice... to worship you... oh my soul, rejoice. Take joy my King - in what you hear... may it be a sweet sweet sound... in your ear." I began to think about how my God is big enough to remove all this anxiety and just began to pray and ask Him to take it all away and to let my mind be still and my body be rested.

Still can't sleep - so here I am!!I open up my computer and realize that I hadn't closed out the last internet page I was on yesterday. I had typed in the search, "how much ham do I need to feed 100 people?" (decided to simplify my life and serve sandwiches at the reception rather than BBQ when we got home - great idea from my parents!!!) So the page displayed on my computer is from a cooking forum and I think, "oh yeah, I never did find the answer to how much ham I would need." I scroll down the page searching... and wouldn't you know that this is what I found:

"My plate may be full, but my cup runneth over"

Isn't that the truth? Someone had put this at the end of their post and it was given to me this morning as a reminder. Thanks, Lord!! :) My cup does run over. If you wanted to pray for me also, that would really be fantastic!

Have a great day everyone... I'm gonna spend mine reminding myself that I'm too blessed to be stressed. ;)

Morning By Morning New Mercies I See...

This was the sunrise outside my front door, one beautiful fall morning.
Isn't God's creation magnificent?!

I had to be up very early twice this week to drive Brandon to school early. Both days the sun wasn't even up. On wednesday I grumbled leaving the house at 5:30, but this morning was different. Somehow things just seem different this morning. I have a lot of life changing things going on with my business and my quest for a part time job. For the last few weeks I feel like I've just been going through the motions. Walking around like a zombie with no direction, no ambition. Honestly, I think I'm just mentally exhausted, but I've seen God at work this week and it's given me a new perspective. Hope.

As I contemplated how I would spend my time with God this morning, a verse came to mind, "His mercies are new every morning!" I couldn't get that verse out of my head, I just kept thinking about it. So I looked up the passage to read more. Wow... it's found in Lamentations. I confess, that's not a book of the bible that I delve into often. I'm more prone to flip to the new testament pages, and especially the psalms when I'm looking for something encouraging... but today He gave me Lamentations. :) Here's the full verse, I think it's awesome!

"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions (mercies) never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." Lamentations 3:22

MM HMM! Because of the Lord's love we are NOT CONSUMED. His compassions never fail, they're new every morning and great is God's faithfulness! It's hard not to be consumed with our problems, isn't it? I'm tempted to let them consume me constantly, but that's not what God would have us do. Then I began to think of the song "Great is thy faithfulness" - so I found it on the net, listened to it, soaked it up.... and this part of the song struck me. "All I have needed, thy hand hath provided. Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me." Everything I've ever needed God has provided, He gives me everything I need, He is faithful - why should this trial be any different? He has proven himself faithful time and again! Yup, I will wait for Him. The faithful one whose mercies are new every morning. Praise Him!

As I read on in lamentations, I came to verse 55 and couldn't take my eyes off of it. This comes from "The Message" It says,

"I called out your name, O God, called from the bottom of the pit.You listened when I called out, 'Don't shut your ears! Get me out of here! Save me!' You came close when I called out. You said, 'It's going to be all right."

Now that's what I'm talkin' about! God says, it's gonna be all right. ALL RIGHT. I know I can believe that because trust me, I've been in the pits of despair and the Lord has always pulled me out. It might be hard for me, but nothing is too hard for Him. I've found myself in situations that I thought were impossible... but ALL things are possible with God. Great is his faithfulness, and his mercies are new each and every morning. What an awesome promise. It doesn't matter how bad the day before was, each morning is a fresh start and God says it's gonna be all right.
I love it!

"Greener Grass"

" The grass isn't greener on the other side - the grass is greener where we water and fertilize it" Lysa TerKeurst


SO SO TRUE! I read this on Lysa TerKeurst's blog this morning and loved it. She was referring to marriage relationships, but I think this could be applied to many areas of our lives. Just a little food for thought today. ;) Hope your day is a great one!

Are you suffering? Pray. Are you happy? Sing Praises!

James 5:13. I just finished reading the book of James. I think it's fantastic! I love the words of wisdom found within those pages... for a book with only 5 chapters it is jam packed with great advice and challenges. Here's a few nuggets I got from James:

"Don't grumble about eachother", "The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.", "Remember, it is a sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.", "God opposes the proud but favors the humble", "If you are wise and understand God's ways, prove it by living an honorable life", "you say you have faith, for you believe that there is one God. Good for you! Even the demons believe this", Love your neighbor as yourself. But if you favor some people over others, you are committing a sin", He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession", "when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy".

Yeah, so I've really been touched today by 5:13 - "Are you suffering? Pray. Are you happy? Sing Praises! It's easy to pray when we suffer, but do we sing praises when we are happy? I think too often we forget about God when things are going good. I sing all the time. I sing in the shower, in the car, in the soap shop, in the kitchen. I love to sing! But I want to sing God's praises!! He is so worthy. God has been faithful in my life and I will endeavor to sing his praises at least as much as I ask for help... or maybe more! :)

About prayer... so my friend Kristi (South African Missionary and fellow manic ) told me about how she has a prayer book. She writes down all the people that she's promised to pray for so she won't forget. Isn't that a great idea? I've been guilty in the past of saying I'd pray, but then after a few days or a week... I guess I just kinda forget about it. I know... SORRY!!! But I don't do that anymore. I was really convicted about my faithfulness and committment to pray for those I love, so I began this process about a couple of months ago and it works really well for me. I have so many on my list though, that I had to divide them equally and go every other day. M,W,F and T,T,S. It is actually quite effective and I feel good about not forgetting anyone. The biggest joy is when I can go in and write that a prayer has been answered. Opportunity to SING HIS PRAISE! :)

A while back... as I contemplated my friendship with Kristi, I had come to the conclusion that God had absolutely put us together as friends so that we would pray for one another. I truly believe that. Kristi is the type of person that will pray for you if she says she will. It's important to have a friend like that, praying for each other is incredible. Right about the time I had the revelation about us being "praying friends" a box came in the mail from Kristi, all the way from South Africa... and here's what it was:

It's an African Prayer Doll. The note said that I should put it in my home and whenever I dust around it or move it, I should pray for her and her husband, Dan. Isn't that cool? It's been quite a conversation piece. As luck would have it and as you can see, it has a very narrow base. Guess what that means? It falls over a lot. Falling over a lot means that I have to set it back up a lot, which means that I pray for Kristi a lot!! :) Kinda neat how that all works out. Here's how my prayer doll looked this morning as I had my morning devotion:

Yup, I "lifted her up" in prayer today. Actually their mission there is really awesome and they are feeding lots of hungry kids. It's pretty exciting. She posted today about the "Soup Clubs" they have going on where kids can get fed 6 days a week. They also have a child sponsorship program where you can sponsor a child that Dan and Kristi may even know. Our family has been talking about this for a long time, and this Christmas we are going to sponsor a child. It feels so good to give, and it's amazing how much you are giving with only $25 or $30 a month. It puts these kids through school and feeds them and gets them clothing. It's quite humbling actually. Maybe you feel the nudge to be part of this fantastic mission. If so... check out Kristi's page. She can getchya hooked up. Plus she has a lot of cool pictures on her blog.

Well, that's it for now. PEACE OUT! :)

I mean no disrespect Mr. President...

but I felt inclined to post a picture that expressed how I'm feeling this morning (minus a couple of horns)



I felt anxious as I switched on Fox News and saw that Obama had been declared President. Sick actually. But my vote was cast and the voices that are the loudest (those of the large, liberal eastern states) were heard and so I hope that President Obama is everything these people wish for him to be. Now his wife can FINALLY "be proud to be an American" for the first time ever. (note hint of sarcasm - and yes, she actually said that, and I quote, “for the first time in my adult lifetime I am really proud of my country. And not just because Barack has done well, but because I think people are hungry for change.” Michelle Obama) *sigh*

I, for one, will be seeking God's face on the matter and begging him to intercede on behalf of this great nation. It's totally in his hands.

"Ahh Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm... NOTHING is too hard for you." (Jeremiah 32:17)

Masks

It's that time of year again, you can't walk through any store without witnessing the displays of masks and costumes. The kids have a costume dance at school again this year on the 31st, so we are trying to figure out what they will "be". Brandon's plan was to be Phantom of the Opera, and Ciara was going to be a geisha. When we got to Around the World today (a costume and hobby shop) we instantly went to the photo books to see if we could find what we were looking for. Well... we didn't have much luck so began to contemplate plan B - which ended up being some cool viking hats we found on the top shelf. Yes, you heard correctly - the viking siblings will be attending the dance next friday. :)

I was in awe as we walked down the ailes looking at fake mustaches and beards, costume accessories, princess crowns, pirate hats.... there were so many things you could find there to alter your appearance, but the thing that really struck me, was all the MASKS. There were yoda masks, Obama masks, creepy masks and on and on. It occurs to me that even though these masks were created for the purpose of allowing some to "be someone else" for a day... so many of us wear masks EVERY day.

Ciara and I have had this conversation. Why do we metaphorically "wear masks" hiding who we really are? The mask we wear usually depends on who we are with at the time, it would seem that the masks change for the occasion. I've even noticed that about myself at times, when I worry that someone will not like ME for ME - I put on the mask that I think they'd be most comfortable with me in. I hate that about myself. I'm envious of my friend, Kristi - she is real every day. Every day she is Kristi. There is no guess work because she is herself all the time. She is humble and it humbles me. At any given time I can go to her blog and read about her shortcomings. She is forthright and broken about them. She doesn't wear masks... I wish I didn't.

My friend Lynnette just wrote on the subject on her blog over at Dancing Barefoot -

"What is it that makes people hide who they really are? Is it that we aren’t happy with ourselves? Not usually. I think it’s because we want others to think we’re perfect"

How could that be more true? We never want to look like a failure to those around us, especially to those that we esteem highly or want to impress. We want to appear as if we really have our act together and that we never mess up, when in truth... I forget things, I'm occasionally late, I sometimes leave clothese on the floor in my bedroom - the list goes on! I guess it is a pride issue then, we are too proud to admit that we are human and make mistakes just like the rest of the world. We can strive for perfection, but perfection is impossible - we are made perfect ONLY in Christ, through his free gift of grace. So why do we wear these masks? I pray that God would help me to be real every day and for those around me to love me for Me... not me in the mask.

P.S. Name that mask! I'll give you a hint, he changed his "mask" permanently by bleaching his skin and having lots of plastic surgery, most obviously multiple nosejobs. :)It's ok... go ahead and laugh, I did... when I saw it on the shelf at the store.

"Beautiful to God"

This was the name of my bible study lesson this morning. I had an interesting time chewing on this one. The author gives this verse before the study even begins:
"He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not." Isaiah 53:2-3 NIV

I find it interesting that scripture says Jesus wasn't beautiful in the eyes of man so that people would be drawn to him only by his spirit, not his physical beauty. I am so humbled by that. I want for people to be able to say, "wow she is a beautiful person" not because of what they see when they look at me, but because of the KIND of person I am. I want others to see a beautiful heart. The world is such a cruel place soemtimes, so much importance is placed on physical beauty but the bible says "Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7) Thanks for that God!! In a world full of skinny, large chested, blonde haired girls with orange tans - God says that I'm beautiful because he looks at my heart, not my physical appearance. Really what he thinks of me is all that matters when you get down to it - so that takes a load off. I think trying to look your best is alright, but obsessing about your looks or your size just to impress others is pointless. I sometimes wonder why people are surprised that we have so many young women with eating disorders - when such an emphasis is placed on looking like celebrities or super models.

I get annoyed (down right indignant, actually) when I hear people put down others because of their size or their color. It may be hard to believe, but I actually know people that do this. Love a person for who they ARE, not what they LOOK LIKE. To make reference to a black person in a negative way (as if they can help what color their skin was when they were born!) It's just sick and wrong. I wanna scream to that person, "what makes you superior!!??" Surely not their "white" skin. I guess I would have to say that God is color blind. He just doesn't care if we are green, white, black red or fuschia. We are made perfect in Christ and he will love us regardless of all the imperfections that the world is so ready to list about us.

Anyway... I get really fired up about the subject of discrimination and racism - but whenever I have the opportunity I share my 2 cents with the people I feel I can share it with, as for the others... I pray that I would actually muster up the courage one day to stand up to them and open up their eyes to the truth, and the truth is this: God loves us exactly the way we are. We don't have to change our hair, bleach our skin, get rid of our glasses, lose 50 pounds or even try to zap our zits, he loves us "as is." Afterall... he made us and "God doesn't make junk". He says that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made." He would know, he's the one responsible!

I'm thankful for this study today, because it's always good to be reminded that our worth should not be measured by the world, but by God. Afterall, he's not looking at my clothing size or what brand of shirt I'm wearing... he's looking at my heart. I can't begin to understand God's unconditional love, but I'm so thankful for it!! The author finished the study with this statement: "I pray when we look in the mirror, we will learn to see what God sees and love who He loves."

Indeed! :) I just want you to know... YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!

Swingtown... Sickening

There's a new show airing on CBS the first week of June and it makes me sick every time the trailer plays. It's called SWINGTOWN, and based on what I've seen so far (I've no desire to see the show)it just makes my stomach turn.


Here's what CBS says about it's upcoming "crowd pleaser":
"SWINGTOWN, from the director of "Big Love" and "Rome," traces two generations of friends and neighbors as they forge intimate connections and explore new freedoms during the culturally transformative decade of the 1970s. It portrays the ever-shifting “swing” of the pendulum that reflected the change in America's collective value system -- morally, politically and socially.After moving to an upscale lakeside Chicago suburb in July of 1976, Susan and Bruce Miller must confront temptation in the form of their provocative new neighbors, Tom and Trina Decker, while not abandoning their old friends Janet and Roger Thompson. As the adult couples evaluate whether to embrace or avoid newfound personal freedoms, the curious Miller and Thompson children begin to discover and assert their own morality and sexual identities as they come of age in a world on the precipice of change. In a shifting social climate -- defined by its music, fashion and style -- everyone in SWINGTOWN is confronted with personal choices, experimentation and varying attitudes."

TV.COM says: "This new period drama takes viewers back to the 1970s for a look at suburban households testing the murky waters of sexual revolution following swingers throughout open marriages, "key parties" and other swingers extravaganzas"

Seriously... and we wonder why there is no value placed on marriage these days?!! What message is this sending to our teenagers? In a world where "everyone is 'doing it'" - we are sending out yet another message that there is absolutely nothing wrong with sleeping around... and worse yet, that it's ok to be unfaithful in marriage. DISGUSTING! I'm totally disappointed in CBS for airing such garbage.Of course I have a choice about what I allow into my home, and this show (among others) will not be viewed on the Hespe's TV. Makes me wonder... what's next?

"For when I am weak, then I am strong"

"But He said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

Ok, I'm weak. There, I said it. Praise you God that you're strong for me! I truly believe that I feel this way because I have not made time in the midst of chaos to "tap into the vine" John 5:5 says "I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in Me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without Me." "YOU CAN DO NOTHING WITHOUT ME". I truly believe that apart from God we will have struggles far beyond what we can comprehend.

I know some that "search within themselves" to make their way through this world. It is all up to them. YUCK. I don't want it to be all up to me, cuz for sure... I'll mess it up! The only hope I have is in Christ and his promises. I sincerely can't for the life of me figure out how people live a Godless life, not to say that I'm so righteous, but I recognize my need for a Savior, a deliverer from this pathetic world. I've learned that God is the only one that never disappoints. What a revelation that was! and here all this time I've been taking my problems and woes to those around me instead of taking them directly to the one that has the power to affect change! Shame on me for wondering why nothing's happening when I'm not seeking him out in the midst of my trials. (which according to James make me stronger...yay, there is a point to all this!*smile*)

Maybe I've been trying to do things on my own too much, maybe that's why I feel so anxious and overwhelmed, maybe even "attacked". I don't know - things at our house have been wild lately. I wonder if it's any more wild than usual or if I'm just responding differently because I'm not "prayed up" like I know I should be, like I'm most comfortable being. Seems like there are so many demands thrown at me some days, I dont' even know where to begin. Right now we are having a conflict with one of Ciara's teachers and Luke and I get to go in and talk to her this afternoon, at our request. It doesn't matter what age your kids are,a momma still feels the need to protect her babies. We are trying to teach our daughter to handle things on her own and make some of her own decisions to prepare her for adulthood, but then we still have to be there to catch her when she falls. Apparently she made a bad decision to not participate in a forensics tournament this last monday (in which she would have had to be up at 3 a.m. and drive into town to be on a bus by 4:30 a.m. and on a school day - which happened to be the first day of her softball practice) and so she has been kicked off the team. Not so funny thing is that there are other kids that didn't go and they are still allowed to participate. Ciara is being singled out because "she is such a valuable part of the team" GRR!! Not only that, the teacher blamed a lot of things on Ciara that weren't really her fault or responsiblity (aka... the teacher's babysitting problem) Give me a break! So... anyhoo.... yeah, that's what I have to look forward to today. Please pray for us, for wisdom and strength and that we would handle ourselves in a way that honors God. Thanks!

"For when I am weak, then I am strong."

I will repeat this to myself until I do indeed feel strong. *smile* Thanks for listenin'!!

Atheism... I just don't "get" it.

"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard?"
Romans 10:14





I see evidence of God everywhere; in a flower, in a sunset, in the smile or laughter of one of my children. I feel his presence in my life in such a real way that it can't be mistaken or denied. The photo above is of me and my precious baby nephew, Wyatt. I love that little guy. When I met him for the first time, I really examined him and took him in... all of him - every tiny little fingernail, the folds in his ears, his perfect lips. Just the sweetness of him. I held him and kissed him and there was no doubt in my mind that God made him. How else could he be so perfect?

Lately I have been burdened. A weight so heavy on my heart that I just feel like I can't breathe sometimes. I know a young girl that doesn't believe God exists. I just can't wrap my mind around it. when I question the things she says and does, her attitudes... I have to remind myself that it's not reasonable to expect a Godless person to behave in a Godly manner. Yet, it's still so frustrating to me. Conversations regarding marriage, abortion, creation... everything that is so important to me and to God - is completely meaningless to her, and I just don't know what to do with that... so I pray for understanding for her. That she would know the joy and peace that comes from a belief and relationship with Him. I may never know if she changes her mind about God, but what I do know is that she hears the truth from me - undiluted. That's hard for her sometimes I think, and it confuses her - yet she is drawn to it. It breaks my heart to think there are people in this world that don't know him. But my God can do impossible things - and my hope, everything that I am is because of Him.

"Ah Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm... nothing is too hard for you!"
Jeremiah 32:17

"The World Is Morally Bankrupt"

"The world is morally bankrupt, and the gold that redeems it from its bankruptcy is righteousness. And what is righteousness? Righteousness is holiness in longing. And holiness is a hunger for God's approval."
Calvin Miller

I just added this quote to my page this morning. I LOVE IT! It comes from the book "Conversations With Jesus" by Calvin Miller. I find his writing to be so refreshing and so touching. The book is written in the perspective of a person seeking Christ, and what Christ's response might be. It's just so different than any other devotional type book I've ever read. If you're looking to have a time with God each day but you don't have much time - I'd definitely recommend this book!

So... "the world is morally bankrupt" That is an understatement. It really is quite sickening to take a look around and see what people think is acceptable. I'm embarrassed to watch TV commercials with my kids sometimes! I mean, let's face it, Victoria doesn't have any secrets!! I think the lines of morality have been blurred so much that people don't know which side is which. Right and wrong is relative? It's different for you, it's different for me.... Where do people get these kinds of ideas? Even non-believers have a certain level of morality - knowing right from wrong. One would think then that believers should be held to even a higher standard of morality. I admit, in an effort to survive in this world, I find myself struggling to know how far is too far. I feel bombarded by the world and its ideas about what is O.K. or not O.K. One thing is for certain, that straight and narrow path that leads to eternity is so much harder than the smooth, paved, wide one that most travel to nowhere.

I think many measure themselves against the world's standard and not God's standard. What a difference it would make if we would compare ourselves to Christ instead of those around us. Jesus is the standard. That's convicting, huh? When's the last time we hungered for GOD'S approval? Holiness ~ hungering for God's approval...that's what I long for. That's what I need. That's what He wants from me.