Many are the plans in a man's heart...

But it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. (proverbs 19:21)

Yeah, we've had lots of plans - we want to finish our fenced in patio, pour a sidewalk from the house to the machine shed, plant some trees, redo our main bath - complete with a tub deep enough for soaking, replace the deteriorating shower in our master bath, get new carpet on the main floor, finish the basement and the most exciting of them all - for our vacation this year... take our kids for 2 "firsts": first time on an airplane and first seeing the ocean. Well... those were the plans WE had, but it doesn't look like these things will happen. I pray that the Lord does have a purpose in this. I'm reminding myself to be anxious for nothing... but I find myself feeling quite anxious. I woke up the other morning dizzy and nauseous and this doesn't happen very often, but when it does it seems I am nearly always stirred up about something big or a lot of little somethings.

We are the kind of family that has to work very hard for what we have and while we live a comfortable life and our NEEDS are always met, the finances are usually pretty tight. My husband's company announced recently that they would no longer be matching 401K. FOOEY. That kinda stinks because they already told him that nobody gets the bonuses or pay raises they were promised. With the economy as is, we are sincerely grateful that we have a source of income right now - many people have been laid off and are losing their homes and can't find work and have no idea how they will even provide for their family. It breaks my heart that times are so tough. I thought that after Christmas when my sales were so fantastic and I heard complaints all around about how sales were down. I guess I shouldn't have been so foolish to think that it wouldn't catch up with us too - lots of people are hurtin'.

For whatever reason (divine subliminal thoughts?) I got it in my mind this last week that I should begin looking for a part time job. I know, I am running my soap business... but it would seem that people are buying necessities more than "extras" right now so things have been pretty slow for me. My January sales were just sad and I actually felt concerned about how the dollars would stretch - but I made it ok and am praying that things begin looking up for February and the months to follow into the spring. I don't know... I just feel I need to be smart about this and I am capable of contributing to this family, so why not? So, I talked to honey man about it and of course he doesn't love the idea of me going out and looking for work, but realizes that it really would help our family. We've got a child getting ready to start college in the fall and wow... it's a bit overwhelming. I got online and found some job openings for part time office positions that I thought looked promising. All applications and resumes have been submitted, so now I guess I just wait for someone to decide they are impressed by my credentials and call me for an interview. It's been a seriously long time since I've applied for a job (about 5 years) so I had to update my resume. This presented a challenge because I couldn't remember specific dates. Geesh... some of these work experiences were a loooong time ago. But... I did get it done and got them sent off for all 5 potential positions.

The day after I made the decision to look for part time work it became clear to me why I felt the need to do this. Honey got a call saying that all employees in his company will be taking a 5% pay cut. WHAT?? pay CUT??? UGH!!! You cannot be serious. I guess for a couple of days I just felt numb about it like... "what can we do... they took away our retirement, now they're taking away $$" I think it's finally sinking in. We called and had our investment company quit taking $ out of our paycheck to put into 401K. It really kinda makes me sick, because one day we are going to need that, but we need it now to supplement what's been taken away. You just do what you gotta do, right? Surely the Lord has a fabulous plan and his purpose will prevail in the end! I trust that it will, because he has been proven faithful to our family time and again. Praise Him for that!!

Looking at the glass half full... they are cutting back travel expenses and my man will only travel away from home 1 week out of the next 4, I guess that's good. Ok, that maybe lightens the blow a little. ?? Trying to think positive here. :) Please pray for my potential job opportunities, and especially for my husband, that he wouldn't be angry and discouraged, and that our needs will continue to be met and that our eyes are wide open to what it is that we're supposed to be learning or gaining from this trial. Right now it just feels like a trial and not a blessing - but my prayer is that God will turn it into one in His time.